Musings from my (death) bed

OK now maybe not my death bed but that is what this certainly has felt like at times over the last 3 days. But, armed with my laptop, today I started to fight back. I developed a theory that life (and disease) is all about PH. What is PH? It either the alkalinity or acidity of something. When you get too much of one thing, bad things happen. When did I start looking at this? Well, last summer we had the "climbing thing" which was one of those Step 2 or similar brand thing with slides, tunnels, etc. that the kids could climb on. A troop of ants apparantly built a nest right under it and swarmed it and Matthew one day. He was COVERED in red ant bites. Due to his mis-perception of pain, he was in a little pain but not as much as he probably should have been thankfully. I went online quickly and found that red ant venom is alkaline which means acidity would counteract it. I quickly grabbed vinegar (one of life's gems) and dabbed it all over his legs. The bites subsided, immediately. And I mean immediately! By the next day there was no sign they were even there.

So here we are, day three into major stomach/intestinal hell. Nothing is staying in my system, nothing. I had no idea I had this much fluid in my body!! I start trying to find the PH of the flu virus. Turns out intestinal viruses are very alkaline. They replicate (the goal of a virus) quickly and fill both the small and large intestines. The alkalinity signals your stomach to vomit so that production of acid will commence. Also, alkalinity DOES burn, just as acid can. Since our intestines are used to acid, the alkalinity actually burns which triggers the intestines to produce copious amounts of fluid in the form of diarrhea to flush out the offending alkalinity. The antidote? Pure tomato juice, lots of it and nothing but tomato juice, anything else will feed the alkalinity. Drink 8 ounces each 1/2 hour. You do this for 8 hours AFTER the last symptom subsides. Here I am, 2 hours into this and I cannot even tell you how much better I feel. I did pop a Virastop and Olive Leaf Extract (both very good at fighting viral issues) and I feel like I am getting back to my old self. I still do not stray too far from the bathroom but hey, this is better than I was just a mere 4 hours ago, yippee!!

So at day 3 I have learned, this was not a fun way to 1) lose 7 pounds or 2) get a full system cleanse. Nonetheless, it is what it is, now I will try NOT to gunk it up again after this is resolved.