So, I know I really try and focus on the positive of life and treating Autism in our family. But there are some days where I think I could easily OD on stress. Today was one of those days. Let's see, it is nearing Valentine's Day and so both kids needed Valentine's to send in. Both of my children signed ALL of their Valentine's this year. 1st off, I thought it was amazing for my daughter to be able to do that now. 2nd, my son has grown so much in his fine motor skills that he could this year too, HURRAY! So, after getting him to sign all 21 for classmates, teacher and speech therapist, I wrote each child's name on them for him, not remembering that the teacher said to leave them BLANK! I wanted to cry, I had ruined his Valentine's by not following directions and he worked so hard "doing his best work" and writing his name on each and every one of them. For many parents this would not be a big deal, just redo them. But my son's fine motor has always been so poor that this was NEVER an option, writing was a chore at best. And even though he has come so far with fine motor, we worked on these for days to get them all done. I wanted to cry, really. So, as we were walking out the door to run errands before school was when I realized this snafu. I tried to focus on getting out of the house and calming down, I would figure a way out of this.
We had to run errands and during those errands - in the aisles of Fresh and Easy, I got a call I was REALLY waiting for. You see, I am taking our secondary insurance to court to cover the co-pay on a very necessary medication. One that, I might add, a friend gets for HER son, same plan, same prescribing doctor, same pharmacy. What the hell?!?! It made me mad enough to appeal the denial, which they denied and now we have a hearing scheduled Tuesday. I rec'd a call yesterday from a rep at the agency that governs that service and we had played phone tag yesterday so I NEEDED to take this call, yes in the middle of Fresh and Easy, in my rushed shopping trip on our way to schools. What I was told was the ins. company was not prepared for the hearing and "just want this to go away" and could I send them a lab test showing a deficiency? So then I needed to get on the phone to my son's doctor to see if any such test exists. Then I called my friend, the other mom who gets this medication covered to see if SHE had been asked for any sort of test to gain coverage (all in between drop offs at schools). That shot my planned trip to the gym to hell. So, I get both kids off to school, then it is spending the next hour or so pulling out old tests, getting documentation faxed to me from my son's doctor, etc. I would really like to NOT have to go to this hearing. I already didn't plan on being Dr. Mom, literally, but to be lawyer too? My plate is full. So, I did find a test that shows deficiency so hopefully I will get the call saying Tuesday is not necessary, who knows. Otherwise I need to fax about 50 pages to the respondents and file a motion online with the Office of Administrative Hearings tomorrow. And I am in the kindergarten class all day tomorrow. Then, it was time to focus back on the Valentine's that I ruined again. I printed off a sheet of blue paper with "My friend" typed and cut them all out with decorative scissors and glued them over the names I had written. OK, crisis diverted. Finished those up, tied them on the hearts/pencils I had done the previous days. Guess what? My child-free time was up, Princess needed to be picked up from school. Then I wanted to experiment with the chocolates some more. I didn't like the strong taste of the coconut oil I used previously. So, I tried a different brand and WOW, they taste JUST like dark chocolate. I even made peanut butter (almond butter really) cups, almond joys and mounds for my family for Valentine's day (hey we ALL deserve a treat, even on a restricted diet!!). I made some for M's teacher who is also suffering from some allergy issues. I still need to wrap her Valentine's day gift.
Now on to bake the cupcakes I signed up for. Yes, I signed up for the cupcakes for tomorrow's Kindergarten party. Why? Isn't life crazy enough? Well, I get so tired of my son always being the odd man out. Yes, I can make a sub for everything but they many time look different. The kids in his class are so great with him and are not mean in any way. But sometimes I am so tired of my child being so "different" (and yes I do realize this is MY issue). So, since Betty Crocker has some rockin' gluten free mixes out now, I figured that would be an easy way for him to have the exact same thing everyone else does, so yes, add that to the priority list. He gets to have a cupcake that looks like everyone else's! I also had to wrap the present for the classmate's birthday party we are going to tomorrow after school. Hubby gets a reminder note to bring M's his special pizza for the party tomorrow (see, his special food again).
Today was crazy. But that is my life. I don't always handle the day so gracefully. Thankfully they are not always quite to dramatic or stressful. That's why this blog is called Life on the Roller Coaster. I often feel like I am on a roller coaster ride. Sometimes its not so fast or scary but then other days all I can do are hold on and make sure that seat belt is tightened. But you know what, My family is my world. And tomorrow when my son gets to eat the same cupcake as his friends, and gets to exchange his Valentine's (that HE signed) and gets to feel like every other kid there, it will be all worth it. So we continue to juggle, as I know many Autism moms and dads can relate to. Sometimes we go over and above to make sure our children don't feel left out or different. We have to do things many don't (like fight insurance companies), and we have to play Dr. mom or Dr. dad to a whole different level than most. But we do, and we keep going, exhausted and stressed yes, but you know what? My kids are happy, they know they are loved, and they see mom putting out the effort for their school, for them and it goes a long way for them.
And you know what made me laugh today? Hearing my son tell his sister "Can you go in and tell my mom that you hitted me?" Needless to say my daughter did NOT come in to tell her mother that she hit her brother. But, M's innocence and naivete is so wonderful at this age and part of me wants him to keep that forever. But not too long ago he would not have reacted to being hit, he would not have been able to communicate that he had been hit, nor would he have asked someone else to come and tell me about it. Now, the hitting part, that wasn't so funny, but that is a whole other story.
So there you have it. My day. I wish I could say the days are getting less crazy but they are not, they are just turning into a different kind of crazy. I wouldn't have it any other way but boy am I glad tomorrow is Friday!!